Mood: Ready For You (Acoustic) - Hoobastank
This is so freaking weird. I've found this in a friend's blog. What can i say? Everything written here matches my exact sentiments. But then again, coincidence do happen. *winks*
As written by that someone -
Have u ever loved and lost somebody?
Yes we did.
Have u ever waited for someone but still failed to capture him/her?
Yes we did.
Have u ever smile and said u are fine when actually ur heart is breaking into pieces?
Yes we did.
Have u ever been confused with ureself coz u dun even know what u want out of life now though ure living in one?
Yes we did.
HAve u ever saw ur crush walked next to u with another person he/she is happy with and still tell ureself( I still want her!!!/him!!!)
Yes we did.
HAve u ever wished happiness for the guy/girl with someone else even tough u really want him/her for ureself and it really HURTS to see them together?
Yes we did.
HAve u ever pretended to be happy and cheerful infront of others but when ure lonely at night u CRIED ureself to sleep?
Yes we did
PS. This entry doesn't truly reflect the true feeling of your's truly. I no longer feel emo about some past crushed feeling. I'm totally fine as i am writing this. Well just to let you people know. Enuf said.
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
10:46 PM
Mood: Bonda Ku Sanjung, Ayah Ku Agung - 2D
I know what i've said in the last entry but I'm gonna make an exception. Just for my dearest mum. This is specially for her.
14 years ago, when i was 9, i used to wake up at 530 in the morning everyday. Just to accompany my mum to her work place. She used to have this canteen she shared with grandma at a factory somewhere near Marsiling. Being the caring mum that she is, she don't expect me to wake up so early and to follow her. But other then thinking of the small sum of money i would get without fail, my heart ached knowing that she have to start work so early in the morning, alone. Sometimes when i was just so lazy to wake up, she would tell me that she just want my company for that morning. And i would feel obligated to wake up. And so we will wait for bus 370 every morning together.
I used to help her cook large quantities of fried eggs or telur mata lembu. And also the curry puffs. Amid getting scalded by the boiling oil, i find doing all that fun (i guess that explains my liking to cooking.hah!). And when that's all done, i would sleep after that. Haha. Used to carry the pails full of dirty plates back to the washing area with my arwah yayi. Always wanted to help out washing the plates but got a tongue lashing from my mum. She said she doesn't want me to have dried skins like her's. Instead all i got to do was to wipe the plates dry. How boring. And so i would sulk just like any small kid. Friday was the day i'm always looking forward to. 'Cause that's the day when they would clean the entire canteen. I would carry the extremely heavy but powerful water hose and "shoot" at the birds nearby. Haha. And slide just like Iceman on the slippery and soapy floor. And landed quite a number of time on my behind. *Ouch*
Oh yeah. How can i forget. That was also the time that i somehow hone my goalkeeping skills. I will always go the the back alley and with a ball in hand, tried kicking as hard as possible against the wall. And i would try to save it. Just like in a normal match. And so i was the 'keeper, striker, referee and also the commentator. All in one. On the concrete floor. Haha. And i would go to the female toilet (i was 9 ok!) and start reading all the old newspaper, some even dated way back to the late '80s. That explains why i'm so addicted to the NewPaper. And when i went to the 2nd floor to play my Tamiya car all by myself.
Hardly a tribute to mum? Read on.
Then it hit me today. That mum, my beloved mum have been working so hard just to allow me and my sis a normal and happy childhood. We didn't come from a well-to-do family yet i really had a great time growing up. How mum would instil in us that we have to study real hard. That she doesn't wants us to have low education like her (not that she didn't want to study but she had to give way to her brother. They were from a big family you see and money was very hard to come by back then). How she scrimped her money. Just to pay for the rather expensive tuition fees. Just so we would get the best of education. How worried she was when i had a deep cut on my hand when i was 7. How she always give me the chicken wing when it is her favourite. How she would always cooked for me my sambal udang when i got back from school. How she would get for me everything that i wanted (with me not realising that money don't simply drop from the sky).
And a very hilarious moment. I was 6 that time, still using those baby bottle to drink. One day i was laying on her lap sucking my bottle. No matter how she asked me to stop drinking from the bottle, i still wouldn't give up the habit. So suddenly she hug me real tight. And ask my sis to grab the bottle and throw it down the rubbish chute. I tell you. I cried like hell. Funny how i can still remember that so vividly. And how i was 4, was in tadika class. It was the end of school and mum was fetching me back home. Then as we were at the traffic light waiting for the ever famous "green man", i felt something ticklish oozing down my pants. Then i realised i just let go of you-know-what (my stomach was really in pain but i didn't tell anyone. Heh). Then i gently pulled my mum's hand and show her what's coming out from my pants. Haha. Mum sure had the biggest shock of her life. Luckily our house was nearby.
I can never forgive myself for all the hurt i've caused to her during my teenage years. I've not only made her worried, yet even allowed her to cry in front of me. I was a havoc and rebellious teenager and her advices just fell on deaf ears. I hate myself for doing all the stupid things back then.
Yet now at the matured age of 23, i've promised myself. That i'm never gonna make my mum worried about me ever again. I'm gonna be the good, filial son that she has been praying for ever since i wasn't even born. I'm gonna take good care of her 'till she grow old. That's the least i can do after all the things she have done for me. That's why i can't wait to start my career. I wanna provide for her. I don't wanna her to work again. She's already old. She deserved to have her rest now. Arrghh NS. Phfftt. But it's good to see the smiles on her face whenever i follow her to the mosque. People have been giving me names eversince i was young. "Mummy's boy la..", "Tido bawah ketiak mak laaa..". I don't care seriously. Heh. She's the best i could ever have in this world. Ever.
So with tears in my eyes, i just wanna say..
I love you mak.
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
11:30 PM
Mood: Mimpi Yang Sempurna - Peter Pan
From the bottom of my heart, i feel happy for her. She looks just the way she ought to be - smiling. She and her better half. I'm not jealous nor upset. In fact i'm glad that she've found her happiness. I guess my prayers came true after all. :)
Maybe what they said is true. It doesn't matter whether you get to be with someone you love. Knowing that they are happy albeit with other people sets your mind to ease. Knowing that there is someone else who will take good care of them. Someone who can bring the smiles out from them. Someone who will shower them with warmth and love. Someone who will walk alongside them hand-in-hand on the beach when evening comes. Though it won't ever be me, i'm kinda relief that there will be someone to catch her when she falls. Well, love is all about sacrifices right? I am happy. Just as long she is too.
Anyway, i'm gonna stop blogging for the time being. I don't see any more needs for me to blog. Maybe when the day arise and my life eventually has been kick-start again, perhaps i will drop by here. 'till then.
Something to ponder about -
this life is like goin' through a bumpy ride
even if you say you know what's wrong from right
people want to show me, the right way to walk
people want to show me, the right way to talk
why can't i just be myself? why can't you see me the way i am?
i'm not whining nor am i trying to make a stand
i merely want you to look at me without prejudice
i don't want you to think that being with me is such a big risk
i am not a kid anymore, just not the most mature adult
ive got alot of integrity so don't try to make me into something I'm not
why should I join in with those in play, whom I've no delight..
who's not telling the truth, trying to amend the human rights
even if you try to change me a little bit, i'll take it as an insult
for i am an individual with my own kind of mind
thank you very much but i'd rather you be out of my sight!
enjoy life.
~cheers~
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
11:00 PM
Mood: Give My Love - Edward Chun
When i look in your eyes i can see that you
Want to be with me but you're so scared
And i don't know what to say or do
But the tears keep falling from your eyes
And i know that times won't change my love
And i can't do nothing to keep you
*oh, i'll give my love
Oh when i hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that i can't change my love
Take my love all through the night...
As the hours pass away
You think that love ain't here to stay
Feel a beat from your chest
But you don't give doubt a moment's rest
You dream the future and all you see is dark
Listen to your heart, baby,
The truth will set sparks
Now i'll give my love oh when i hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know, that i can't change my love
Take my love all through the night...
Now i'll give my love oh when i hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that time won't change my love
Take my love all through the night... (*)
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
9:34 PM
The 'lil one asked,
"..abg amin abg amin..bila abg amin nak kawin..?"
STUNNED.
*Gulp* Must not panic. Must not.
Even mummy have been hinting these few days.
That's the reason why i hate bumping into relatives while going out with gal frens. Older generation they are so obviously they have this typical mindset that i'm actually with that person. Pfhht. If only things were less complicated than it seemed.
No matter what. I will only be with someone if i'm able to fall for her and vice-versa. I won't be with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Ah-ah. No way. So even if i'm the last man standing without meeting the "one", i'll not go around like a hungry predator searching for it's prey. Hah.
Adios. For now.
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
10:26 PM
Mood: Our Love Will Always Last - Edward Chun
It's official. I'm a sucka for korean drama now. Especially for this show. It is simply enticing and romantic. You should, believe me catch it. It's not over yet, my mistake. Still on, at Channel U, Monday and Tuesday at 1900Hours. Remember to watch it in Korean (it's dual sound by the way).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr4mKQjgLHQ - english version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lviCpb3eXYI - korean version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnNOzGlxK3s - english version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94MiOi0RFpY - korean version
Anyway these are the theme songs of the show. It's really nice so you should listen to it. Well you heard it here first! ;)
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
8:52 PM
I've finally rekindled my love.
To God.
This is what i was before. This is what i am gonna be now.
No more doing stupid stuffs. It's time to do good. So guys, you should know what to do. No more asking me out to sleezy places again. I've call it quits. It's about time i guess. I so miss my old life. No more being down over unnecessary stuffs. No more thinking that love is the life. Now my religion is my everything.
Shukran. To God for allowing me to repent. :)
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
10:48 PM
Mood: 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
First of all, a big shout out to Mister Z and Miss T. Congrats on deciding to get engaged! All the best for the future. Ako nak sambal udang! Yang besar besar nye. Hehehe.
Secondly, pictures uploaded!! Lotsa it! :)
Thirdly, i'm tired. So goodnight and goodbye.
i like this pic..!
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
2:44 AM
Mood: Far Away - Nickleback
I'm feeling elated today. After receiving a short yet certain message from a certain someone. To some i know it's gonna sound bad but it sure lifted my spirit. And i'm still wondering as to why.
Anyway..
Do catch Save The Last Dance For Me. It's a Korean romantic drama and the finale will be on next Monday, 1900 hours on Channel U. To those that have been watching it, do not miss it! I'm not. ;)
Just a quick synopsis -
In this new hit drama, Yoo Jin, formerly of popular band S.E.S., co-stars with Ji Sung of the hit gambling drama All In, and the two play a couple whose touching love is arranged, and then disrupted by sudden chance and the vagaries of fate.Soo Jin (Yoo Jin) is a pure but unsophisticated woman who runs a small resort inn with her father. Soo Jin is just an ordinary girl, but her life changes when she meets a man (Ji Sung) who's completely lost his memory. She takes him in and cares for him, and even gives him a name: "Jan Ho". Love blossoms, and soon wedding bells can be heard. But on the night of their wedding ceremony, Soo Jin's father passes away. And soon after, Jan Ho disappears too! In the blink of an eye, the two people Soo Jin loves most in the world have left her. But Jan Ho has his reasons for disappearing: his real name is Hyun Woo, and he's heir to a large conglomerate. Even more, someone is plotting to kill him...
Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
10:46 PM
