Monday, December 13, 2004

Today something real bad happen. My mum get to know about Hana. Let me fill you in. I was using my cuz digicam when i took pics with Hana. He didn't delete it and as my uncle just bought a printer that can be connected to a digicam, he printed out a picture of me and her and gave it to my mum. I was damn shocked! I thought i would get a tongue-lashing from her but instead she told me Hana is pretty and ask whether she got any arab blood. God forgetting her seemed to get much more harder especially since my mum likes her. This is the first time ever she seemed so positive about the person i'm going out with. She must have taken a liking to her. Damn. What an irony. I can't be with someone whom my mum actually like. This is another first for me. I can no longer know what to do with my love life. I'm sick and tired.

Extracted from one of the emails i send to her not too long ago.

I’m in love. But I finally realize, being in love doesn’t mean you will end up with that someone. I have to face up to reality. You’re leaving. I couldn’t accept it. But now I just have to try. Just have to try real hard. I know it will be over soon. Gonna be extremely patient about it. Just don’t have to think about you. The things we do or go or share. It will be hard. I don’t know if I can do it. But I will be fine. Don’t worry. Below, highlights of 3 months being closed together. Enjoy.

- Went to Harbor Front, couldn't find place to sit. Remember we went around in circles just to find a place to sit. We gave up, sit at the carpark for awhile. You tried starting my bike for don't-know-how-many-times. Decided to go to West Coast for the first time.

- Went to Ikea after your work on a Sat. Found the "dream room". Then went to Junction 8 to catch “The Ghost” - boring show. Bought your specs there. We were then slacking, told me you will give me a treat if I pass my exams. I can forget about that now I guess.

- Was out with the guys. Talked about an hour. You wanted to meet me at town and to go back together. I can’t make it. You said you miss me. Was so touched.

- Met at town to catch first movie ever with you, “Harold & Kumar went to White Castle”. Damn hilarious show.

- Slack at bukit batok quarry. Remember the white lady sitting at e ledge story? You were so scared. And you really show it. Hee.

- Went to bugis. You drove, first and last time we took pics together. Watch Princess Diary 2. Just watch Princess Diary 1 yesterday. Slow type. Well, that’s me.

- Went to West Coast. Remember the group of boys teasing you about how brave you were? Well of course, you were my bodyguard. Hee.

- Chilling at West Coast, commenting when a couple hug right in front of us, told you they’re living for the moment. Some days later, we hug and you ask, is this the “moment”. Yes, that’s a moment, especially for me now.

- Kent ridge park, star-gazing, nice-scenery, fresh-air, cheap trills – running for our dear life. I miss that feeling. Hee.

- Twice went to Jelapang Banquet, twice you were not feeling well. Something about that place. Third time went there; you went to give tuition, bringing with you my exam notes. Waited 1 ½ hours doing nothing. I guess that place is jinx.

- Clementi to eat mama food. Doesn’t taste that nice the last time I ate there.

- Town, sat between Wisma n Taka. Spitting again & again near my feet. Find that somehow hilarious. Really enjoyed that day. You didn’t complained the way I dressed and ride for the first time ever. Really enjoyed the time. Conversation later on was much more superb. Thought was the turning point of the relationship.

- Break fast at Pizza Hut, you hated the Teriyaki pizza. I’m so sorry that you hated Teriyaki. Didn’t know that.

- Fell in love with “Accidentally in Love”, was walking at town, in this apparel shop, music video of it. First email ever that you send to me containing the lyrics to the song.

- East coast, purposely didn’t talk much since you keep teasing me. Really enjoyed yourself huh? It’s ok. I’m cool.

- Remember to visualize yourself on a cliff, to fall naturally?

- Your place

- My place

- Sembawang park

- Jurong east, after your interview. Couldn’t believe I can’t answer you 5 OS. Damn, what was I thinking.

- Jurong point, my immature, childish behavior. I regret that that day had to happen. I’m really sorry about it.

- Time when I quarrel with my parents? You wanted to spend your Sat away from BP. Dumb me didn’t bring extra helmet. But I couldn’t. At carpark, you reach out for my hand when I needed you the most. I was simply touched by the gesture.

- Remember Incubus?

- 24th Nov 2005. I will remember. Expect something on that day.

- Everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine then it’s not the end. Will hold on to this quote for a long long time.

Will stop pestering you already. I be gone, for good.

~~I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you~~
23th Aug ~ 8th Dec 2004 Missing you always...Hana..

Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
3:07 AM