Sunday, November 07, 2004

Yeah yeah, been awhile since i last update my bloggy(hee..). So many things have happen all this while but it's just another of those long-winded story, so i shall just skip all that. Kinda miss Hajjar now. I mean, not that i still have feelings for her, but i just miss being with her. Maybe what my cuz said is right. I can be with Hajjar 'cos she's summisive towards my ohh-so-often-crappy behaviour. Ok ok i fill you in. Just had a so called argument with Hana. Yup yup, me and her, like a "couple but not a couple" now. I dont know about her. Everything that i say, do or wear must have bad points to her. I mean, who the hell does she think she is? Im so frustrated. I know that she meant well, but the thing is that she never ever tried to understand me. Tried explaining nicely to her but fell on deaf ears. Seriously i always think what the hell am i wasting my time on her. She's like the most vicious woman i've ever met. But at the end of the day, i'm still stuck here, chldn't leave. I wonder why. Hmmm..Help me.

3 months now i've know her and during this point of time, i've learn that my patience is getting better and better. I mean, to actually be with someone with her, you must be extremely patient. I wonder till when i can be this way. She is sometimes just so impossible to reason things out. And i think now my cuz and her bf is starting to dislike her. I can understand why. She just doesn't mind the words that she said. Haizzzz...i really do miss Hajjar right now. In this cold and lonely night. Feel like hugging her. Somebody cure me of this pain. But whatever it is, i know whatever happen today, tomorrow will be a better day. Thank Raudhah for telling me that. It does help to a certain extent. I'm just gonna sleep through tonight and i know i will feel much better tomorrow. Well i hope so. I really do.

Well at least i know i can be enthusiastic over something. School over! For good. Well, that depends on my exam results but seriously, i don't wanna repeat any modules already. I mean, 3 1/2 years in schoo is enough for me. Just wait Zak, I'm gonna get out of the grave freely. No more legs stuck in it. Hmmpf! Can't wait though to start National Service(NS). It's about time i think. Paramedic haven't call me up for any interview. Was just thinking if i indeed don't get the job, gonna finish 2 years of NS and further my studies at Monash U in Australia. Feel like running away from Singapore for a few years. Running away from all the people. I know that will make me feel good. Then shame on you people who took me for granted.

Just came back from town. Went out with my cuzs to break fast at Puncak. Been awhile since we last slack together.Wait for Horseyboy..opps i mean Faisal at BK liat towers and then took the last train home. Am so tired and sleepy now but i'm so used of sleeping after sahur that i don't actually feel like sleeping now. Feel it's still kinda early. Tommorow going geylang serai with the guys at night. Gosh time fly by so fast. Next weekend is raya. Hooray! Can't wait though to enjoy the festive mood but pretty sad that the Holy month of Ramadhan is ending. Wonder if i could meet this month again. This raya, gonna spend it in a simple way. Not buying any clothes at all except baju kurung. Don't feel like it since i'm going in hell soon..i mean..NS..hee. Gonna stop now. Wanna try to do any better things to do. Hah.

P.S Life been really a roller-coaster so far. But so far now, been much of downwards rather than up. Sigh.

Mister Turtle urge you to join the mutant war!!!
2:12 AM